If you're never hurt, how is it strength?

Strength is not never being hurt. Strength is getting up every morning when your heart is broken with your pillow still damp and facing the day, smile or frown. Strength is not wiping your history from your mind and stepping out as if you are new. It is realizing that your history is a part of your present, stepping out as if you have learned. Strength is not never revisiting your pains, it is never letting them hold you back.

Don't call me weak for crying.
I truly loved and lost.
You are not supposed to come out of that unmarked.

You were a lie, and it's all you'll ever be.

I say this without being mindful of the day, more so of a movie, and the affects of my current dilemmas. If I leave Columbus, it will be to attend University of Georgia and when people ask me why I am leaving, I'll say, "because I want to, because I don't like CSU." I won't say, "it will be better for us," or "it's a better school." I'll say, "because none of my siblings have been there," and, "I want my own experiences." I won't conceal lack of necessity, or the fact that it is purely my own decision, logical or not.  If by that time I've met someone and they ask me why I'm leaving, I'm not going to lie and say that it will do them good, I'm going to say, "because I make my decisions without you, and I made this one before you." That way when things start to fall to pieces three months after I leave, they won't be writing journal posts about me after ten months.

Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?

Talking to you on the phone last night really bombed my night. I wish we didn't work for the same company. I really wish it hadn't bothered me. I am nearly twenty years old. I should have learned by now to not be affected so easily. I really am excited about your good news. I hope everyone else is, too. I am jealous. Not for by whom, but what a treasure.

Someday, I want to talk to you about back then.

No, I do not. I just want to not feel the need to hide from you, and I want you to know that you injured the soul of a young teenage girl, however unintentionally.