I have been meaning to update for days, you will have to forgive me. The pictures I wanted to paint didn't come until yesterday.
It's only been two months, two measly, life-changing months. Two months of learning that not everyone sucks; two months of learning you don't have to be around people who make you feel bad; two months of realizing that most people don't think you're stupid, or ugly; two months of adventuring beyond the box of my small-town life experiences.
I am to a point where I can look back and see how impulsive it was, "Wanna go to Savannah? (@ 2 weeks)...Wanna go to South Carolina? (@ 2 weeks and four days)" All day hangouts, exercising, playing with our dogs, playing PS3 and making me watch Blu-Rays because my Hi-Def world was under-developed, but I said all this to say this.
I remember driving home from ATL after taking Cruz to the airport (after Savannah) listening to Matt's rock (? I suck at genres) music that was on the iPod I gave him (cause Ricky gave it to me) and thinking, "I know nothing about this boy, and he's not like one that I have ever found." I remember the exhilaration, and the fear, the knowledge that this was the fork in the road, and I was going one way without the slightest bit of thought because I was travelling towards safety. I was doing whatever I could to obtain that second basic primal need of all humans; security. Looking back, I am glad I didn't think about the turn I was making, because I would still be small, sad me, forever trying to overcome life. But now, even though he's leaving in a week for school, I am happy. I am truly happy, and even if he leaves for ATL and leaves me three weeks later. Even if it's sad and awful. I would rather have met him this summmer and learned all that he's taught me than anything else. If he leaves, it'll sting a bit, but having known him, was better than me - being me.
